course correction

It's the new year--in pagan terms anyway.

As the days move on past the pastel egg and crucifix nausea that is easter season, I find myself looking at the horizon and considering my place in the grand scheme of things.

For so long I've lived a life of reaction, manipulation--basing what I do, who I see, and where I go on perceived expectations and imagined criticisms. 

In a month's time, I will have been sober a full year.  I feel more grounded and comfortable in my skin than I have in my whole life.

What becomes more and more apparent to me everyday, however, is that my life and my values are not necessarily aligned.  I've drifted off-course, charting by stars that are not my own.

I'm feeling some dissonance now, some friction.  I have worn deep ruts in my road, but my heart has started singing.  My bliss is calling me up, over, and into the great wide open.

It is my nature, of course, to be impatient, to want to turn on a dime.  This ship, though, will take some time to maneuver in a new direction.  I must be mindful of my wake.  I must find my bearings.  I must trust the stars to steer my way.

All in all, I'm delighted.  I glimpse on the horizon flashes of brilliance--glimpses at a new way of being in the world.  There's a fresh wind at my back.  It's time to raise the sails...

Passion, beauty, and love, folks--24 hours at a time.