surrender

For me there is only one way out.

My most convoluted tangles, the fires in my mind, my endless ploys for control and irrascible runs at perfection--all of them, I have to surrender.

Surrender does not negate ownership.  All my craziness, all my twisted thinking, all my unsolvable conundrums, they are all still mine, uniquely mine, soulfully mine... But, I renounce authority over them, give up management, relinquish my shares.

Ultimately surrender (unlike defeat) can never be forced.  It is--no matter how reluctant--a voluntary act.

In the realm of the poetic, on the battlefield of mystery, the ultimate surrender is to Life itself.  To cease, finally, waging a war against existence.  To raise a white flag to those impenetratable ranks of "things I cannot change."

Surrender becomes relief.  A chance to give up the soldier's life and return home.  To beat sword into ploughshare and enjoy a quiet life free from futile rage and bloodshed.

And if, by some flicker of grandeur, I question the honorability of my decision to lay down my arms, I only need to remember that in this war I have only ever been an upstart insurrectionist.  While I have always been freely offered citizenship in the kingdom, it was never mine to rule.

Passion, beauty, and love, folks--24 hours at a time...